How to be outgoing

Some people are naturally outgoing, but other people have to practice to become outgoing. If you want to become outgoing, there are several strategies you can use. Being “outgoing” means learning how to present yourself to others, strike up a conversation, and be more confident.

Things you should know

Introduce yourself, give compliments, discuss common interests, and ask open-ended questions to make the conversation more open.

To socialize more regularly, join clubs, invite friends, maintain your existing friendships, and introduce your friends to other people.

To appear friendlier, focus on maintaining eye contact with others, active listening, maintaining great posture.

Mastering the art of conversation

Start small.

As obvious as it may sound, it’s really helpful to realize that leavers didn’t go to parties straight out of the womb. They had years of practice in safer environments: talking to their siblings, joking with classmates, and so on. You can simulate the natural way to become outgoing – by starting small and working your way up. What small step can you take today to do something a little more open than you did before?

Start with people you know or, if you’re starting over, find a small group of people you share an interest with. A book club, sports team, or hobby group is a great place to start. Try something new with this group, like going on a bar crawl or hosting a barbecue and have people bring their friends.

Give thanks publicly.

You may see some of the same people every day, but you will never recognize them. In order to become outgoing, it is important to start acknowledging the people around you more often. The next time you order coffee or check in at the grocery store, smile at the person helping you. Make eye contact and say, “thank you.” This small gesture will help you communicate better with others and probably brighten the other person’s day a little.

A small compliment can also go a long way, especially in service situations. Remember that your salesperson or barista serves hundreds of people every day, many of whom are likely to either ignore you or be rude. Say something like, “Wow, thanks for bringing this to me so quickly” to show your appreciation.

Make eye contact.

If you are in a social situation, such as a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there. Once you make eye contact, give the other person a friendly smile. If the other person holds your gaze, walk over to them and introduce yourself. If the person smiles at you, that is also a good sign.

If the person doesn’t respond, let them go on their way. There is a difference between being “outgoing” and “violent”. You don’t want to force an interaction on someone who isn’t interested.

Keep in mind that this approach doesn’t work well in situations where people don’t expect to be approached, such as when taking public transportation. Part of social behaviour is knowing when and where to approach others and when to keep to yourself.